So here's the bad news...
The funeral is tomorrow. I'm not prepared. Are you ever prepared for a funeral? Especially a funeral under these circumstances.
What do I say? I've heard soooo many different answers to that question, most of which contradict each other so how do I know which is best? I guess the generic "love you" is acceptable, even though it seems so basic and surface-level. But it's true, so that's a pro. Ugh. The more I analyze it the more nervous I get.
I know this sounds selfish so far, I really am thinking a lot about them and what they're going through, but I just don't know how I fit into the equation, so I don't know how to act.
My dad's been running around like a mad-man dealing w/ details, picking up people from the airport, delivering flowers, cleaning their house, etc. I wish there was more I could do, but who wants to ride an hour in the car w/ a screaming 1 year old from the airport?
It'll be nice when it's over. If one more person asks me details about it I think I might just fall apart. People have been cornering me!! Asking so many questions that the family does not want anyone to know, and I'm DEFINITELY not going to be the one to discuss details. The only reason I know some of it is because my dad was so overwhelmed that it just kept rolling out of his mouth and I just happened to be the one in the living room with him. He had to spend the whole day with them, finding out details, whens, why's. He was there when the dad told his daughter.
Heartbreaking stuff man.
Sooo did you think I forgot about the good news? Nope! Drum roll please.....
I have a reader!!!!! How cool is that! I'm gonna have to step up my game! Actually spell-check... Not whine and cry so much... Exaggerate a little to make my life seem a bit more interesting. Ok well maybe not the last one... I'm pretty sure my reader would see right thru it anyway ;)
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Today I'm very thankful for my warm and comfy bed!
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