I'm growing. Scratch that. God is growing me. Stretching me. Challenging me. And to be honest, I don't love it! I just wanna curl up in a ball on my momma's couch, where it is safe and comfortable and known. I don't like the unknown. Which is probably why God keeps taking me there.
I knew what it would be like living in Strawn again... been there, done that. But this time I have 4 kids! That's 4x's greater chance that someone I'm respnsible for is going to need something. Something that this itty bitty town doesn't have! And then it hit me, as it usually does, when I was in the Word.
I'm currently memorizing James 5, slowly but surely, and the Lord smacked me upside the head with it: "You've spent your days on earth in luxury, satisfying your every desire. You've fattened yourselves for the day of slaughter..."
O.M.G. -- No translation needed here. No analogies to understand the context. I've been reciting those lines over and over and over for the past 2 months, all the while literally satisfying MY every desire! Fattening my self, my home, my family -- for no worthy reason! If we need something, ANYTHING, we just go get it! Living in close proximity to a Walmart has jokingly (but mostly seriously) been of such a high importance to me! Why?? SO I COULD SATISFY MY EVERY DESIRE.
Need a gallon of milk? Run to Walmart.
Got a craving for chocolate? Run to Walmart.
Out of hairspray? Run to Walmart.
That has always been so important to me, and who knows how long the Lord has been saying, "Lauren, just wait..."